This past month has been one of the most stressful periods of my entire life. I found out in Feb that I have, apparently since birth, a thickened part of my heart, called HCM. It has been causing heart palpitations, which it sometimes does, which is what prompted me to go to urgent care after putting up with them for a while. In this past month I went through several EKGs, two echocardiograms, wore a heart monitor for two weeks, started and struggled with a medication, went through a stress test, saw my cardiologist twice (look at that, I have a cardiologist now), saw my primary care physician, and now just left a consultation with a sleep doctor, and have a sleep test this Friday, as I might also have sleep apnea, which could have either caused the thickness or exacerbated it.
I have been an anxious ball of nerves for the past month and it’s going to continue on, I know. I never went to the doctor before this- for ever I put the doctor off. I didn’t go for this exact reason- that I would go and find out that I have some serious condition… and here I am, living one of my worst nightmares. I already have crappy eyesight and horrible teeth that need to be replaced badly. I feel like my body continually is betraying my mind right now. I feel desperately alone, although I have some support from family and friends, mainly because I have to fight my own battles in my head- convincing myself that people live with this condition their entire lives, reminding myself to take care of things, to clean my house, to try to let myself sleep. I want to feel better. I want my energy back. I want to stop crying at the drop of a hat. I want this period to be over with, something I can look back at and remember as when I found out. But I’m not there yet. Come on there, get here already.
Okay, if you are seeing this on your dash can you PLEASE STOP AND READ?
thanks, because I want you to read this and do as it says if it is right.
If you are
- stressed about anything or everything
-depressed about anything
-upset about anything at all
-going through any sort of rough time at all
-insecure about anything
REBLOG THIS. Please don’t skip, please.
I want to tell you something.